The One That Got Away

He'll always be "the one I had to let go."

And maybe I'll always be "the one that got away."

Am I supposed to keep hoping?

I feel like I'm in a bad romance movie.

Purple Heart Panda Hat

Written at 8:30a.m., February 28th, 2012 @ McDonald's in Seattle

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The crying girl next to me (can she really be called a girl?) burst out in sobs every few minutes. The bright white flower contrasts with her dark, dark hair and blotchy red face. Shouldn't she be in school? Her black backpack sites next to her, inconspicuous and seemingly unused. Her pink tattered sweats cinched high above the the black sneakers reveal the length of white cotton socks that shields her ankles. The plastic bag underneath the table is filled with food stuffs trash and lays silent by the quarter-full bottle of soda [and hope].

As she calms and unzips her bag, a panda hat with purple hearts bursts free and speaks of her innocence. The dirty and worn clothes that follow tell another tale. With her back turned to all but me, she blunts her pain and hides it from the rest. I cannot help but stare from the corner of my eye, wishing I could utter more than the sigh that inevitably escapes my lips but is lost in the overwhelming surf of society.

I be workin' on my FITNESS

After not having gone to the gym at all last semester (not really), and not really doing much over the holidays (other than eat, eat, eat!), I want to feel healthy and fit. So I'm going to do a 30-day fitness challenge, starting February 1st. I've never really given a lot of thought to my fitness and body, considering my (constantly pointed out) fast metabolism and genes. But those will have to run out one day, and I'd like to have a healthy lifestyle of being active!

What I like about this challenge is that it works more than just your body. There are five challenges for each day: Active, Exercise, Flexibility, Nutrition, and Mind/Body.


And don't tell me Asians always look young. Because they don't. I believe Asian women have a date where they will just turn old-looking one day. This isn't a vanity or pride issue...it just is.

One day, I'll go from looking like this:

Ah, sunny Ithaca days.

To this:

Oh yeah. That's hot.

All overnight. Maybe over two nights, you never know - the metamorphoses could take a smidgen longer.

Well...

I don't know what to do.

At first, I thought I was completely ready to be done with school. That I wanted the freedom and was ready to tackle on something with my life other than studies.

Now that I'm here, I have no idea what I'm doing, where I am going, why I'm doing this, and several regrets.

The regrets are the worst, really.

Figuring out this whole "growing up" phase of my life doesn't sit well with me.